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A person who takes a lot of interest in his work. A legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors; 2.

A fate worse than debt. A fifty-cent dinner served in sufficient quantity to enable a caterer to charge twenty dollars for it; 2. A plate of cold chicken and anaemic green peas completely surrounded by dreary speakers and appeals for donations; 4.

The correct rules and behaviour to be followed when you meet your money lender. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever.

A test to determine just how old you really are; 2. A test to determine just how much you can hold. A hairdresser called Ian. Long line waiting to buy a popular doll; 2.

A brilliant conversationalist, who occasionally shaves and cuts hair; 2. A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline; 3.

A clip joint where you get trimmed by experts. Southern An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. A high standard of service in a relaxed and casual setting as at a beachfront hotel.

A disease common to women, caught in the Sunday papers and developed in department stores on Mondays; 2. A transaction in which each party thinks he has cheated the other; 3.

When the local tavern keeper bets his tavern and loses. One who is often led astray by false profits. A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another.

Note emanating from Senator Goldwater, or from singer Manilow. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2.

What you do when CPR fails. Brainstorm for pullet-zer prize winners. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Where cabarets and fine restaurants keep their bottles of wine. What Daniel Boone stepped in; 2. A device used by drunks to prove the law of gravity.

A kind of plasterer; 2. The devil you sold your soul to; 3. A psychologist with really bad furniture; 4. A pharmacist with limited inventory.

A game in which you young man who bravely strikes out for himself receives no praise for it; 2. A game which consists of tapping a ball with a piece of wood; 3.

A pane killer; 5. Dance held on a military facility; 7. Three minutes of action crammed into three hours. A spectator sitting feet from the plate who can see better than an umpire standing five feet away.

An authority on diamonds. What every fisherman wants. Typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when; 2. A process by which Mom and Dad drench the floor, walls and themselves.

You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. If you like pink water, use claws vigorously. A girl who has a lovely profile all the way down; 2.

A girl worth wading for. A garment with no hooks but plenty of eyes on it; 2. A garment cut to see level. Two bandannas and a worried look.

A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning; 2. The only place in a government agency where the bureaucrats usually know what they are doing; 3.

Putting up emotional shields from the retracting armor that covers the batmobile. A tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail.

A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue. Hourly charge at the sleazy motel.

A kind of large, fierce, ugly woman who owns a small fierce, ugly dog. Southern What water does at degrees Fahrenheit. A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Tall tales told by insects that give honey. A place where people lie upon the sand about how rich they are in town.

A case of bad tidings Beans: A six to eighteen month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

A man being sued for divorce. Santa Claus, the day after Christmas. The optimum vantage point from which to view people undressing in the bedroom across the street.

A system that enables ten men to do the work of one. A pretty, effective substitute for brains; 2.

An outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused; 3. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband; 4.

An aesthetic radiance that delights the soul; 5. A quality much admired in women, landscapes and tropical fish, but curiously out of favour in art throughout the modern era; 6.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think. Where the talk alone is enough to curl your hair.

A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. One who makes two smiles grow where one grew before.

An insect on Ritalin. The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemployed dentists. Two things the kids will never make for themselves.

Any rocks you find in your bed. An order given by bees to their misbehaving children. A high and mighty liquor; 2. An intoxicating golden brew that re-emerges virtually unchanged one hour later; 3.

Carbonated, malt-based, alcohol beverage which, when drunk in quantity, will keep your husband chubby, out of shape, slow witted, gassy and sexually unappealing.

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3: The climatic moment when you take the first sip at the end of the day.

Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

The method of turning grain into urine. What two plus two be. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends. Alcoholic beverage drunk by bees.

A little necking overdone. In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English, a deadly poison. A striking example of how important it is to know the language you are speaking.

A ballet dancer, spelled badly. To take your time. A curse in reverse. One who returns part of his loot. The distinguishing characteristic of man.

What an eight-year-old will be on next birthday; 2. A common call on Bingo night. The species of grass most often found on greens. The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page.

One who beams benignly after burping. To miss the last plane to Japan. What French people put in fruit pies.

The ones your wife knew before she married you. Ready to go through the cafeteria line. To ring a belle. An insect who forgot to take his Ritalin.

A male cow that swings both ways. A wild guess carried out to two decimal places. Apoker game in which the losing hand wins.

Past tense of buy. When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players. The primordial slap on the backside of the newborn universe. A person who can spot a leopard.

Frequently an individual of small calibre and immense bore. Little shots who keep shooting. An Italian fog; 2. A man who keeps two himself; 3.

A man who makes the same mistake twice; 4. A person who took one too many; 5. A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook; 6.

One who marries twice in a wifetime. When a fellow loves not wisely - but two well; 2. Having one husband too many and monogamy is frequently the same thing; 3.

When one loves not wisely, but too well; 4. Two rites that make a wrong; 5. When a man marries a beautiful girl and a good cook; 6.

When a man marries a beautiful girl and a good housewife; 7. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

One of the California redwoods. A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again. That nauseated feeling you get when you open the mail the first of the month.

Litter on a stick. What you sleep on when you have a bad cold. Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife.

Someone who likes both men and women. Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from potentially serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers, eventually causing the entire slope to be protected from serious injury.

A region bounded on the north by history, on the south by fiction, on the east by obituary, and on the west by tedium. Study of shopping habits; 2.

A class located suspiciously near the cafeteria. The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear.

The beginning of death. Evasion of the issue; 2. An issue that attempts to avoid the issue; 3. Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

Birth Control in Prague: A person who pays for sex. A primitive adhesive used extensively and successfully by brides to prevent loss of their wedding bands.

An opening gambit before a game of chess whereby the missing pieces are replaced by small ornaments from the mantelpiece. What you say when your child leaves for school Bison Slider: A female of a dog or vice versa.

A stamp of disapproval. A letter dropped in a mud puddle. The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer.

Why grass is dangerous. A person who has obviously never been married. A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.

Poetry made out of your head. What the mine foreman told the miner to do with the dynamite. A jacket that is on fire. Southern Expression of intent or faith.

Colour of the wind. When you expect to meet a vision and she turns out to be a sight. Having no idea what is really happening. A storm that winterrupts traffic; 2.

When it snows sideways. Computer software that takes up a large amount of memory but has, in proportion to the space it takes up, minimal functionality.

Imagine a four function calculator that eats 20 Megs of disk space. Joe-ks that are short so men can understand them. Something you look for while the ink dries.

A utensil, such as a spoon or knife, set at the table but not used during the meal. No point in washing it - just blow it off and put it back in the silverware drawer.

Someone who makes every day sound like Yom Kippur. Kissing the wrong girl in the dark. One who says what he thinks without thinking. A natural disaster that moves too fast to be seen clearly.

To speak the truth. The colour of virtue. Bitchers, moaners and whiners. A person with whom it is sooner done than said.

A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. Southern A sharp, twisted cable.

A Halloween game played by dogs. An old Tudor English word for a fool. A robber of grave worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty. The noise through the wall which tells you that the people next door enjoy a better sex life than you do.

A long, thin explosive, like dynamite. A man who would rather be a good liver than have one. Worthless unless the interest is kept up.

There are in the human body. No need for dismay, however: What dogs gnawed in ancient Rome. You always find something in the last place you look.

A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay awake long enough to read the night before finals. The gilded tomb of a mediocre talent.

A person who reads so much he gets asterisks in front of his eyes. The part of a book many girls read first.

A fable of contents. A brief but informative essay that spares readers the ordeal of digesting an actual book.

A large container in which students store candy bars, gum, combs, little slips of paper with phone numbers on them, yo-yos, sunglasses, student IDs, loose change, magazines, and occasionally books.

A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles. A fellow who makes his living off bet bugs; 2.

A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands. Books Never Written Bookworm: A person who would rather read than eat, or a worm that would rather eat than read.

A working model of poetic justice. Retirees returning to their previous employer. A helper at a shoeshine parlour. Multi-skilled employees who feel comfortable jumping from job to job inside a firm.

A fellow who can change the subject to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours; 2.

A fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it; 3. A guy who is here today and here tomorrow; 4.

A guy who keeps the conversation ho-humming; 5. A guy with a one crack mind; 6. A man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company; 7.

A person who has flat feats; 8. A person who knows the same stories you do; 9. One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself; One who is interesting to a point - the point of departure; One whose shortcoming is his long-staying; The kind of man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you; The one on your invitation list who never has a previous engagement; One who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation; A person who has nothing to say and says it; A guy, who, if you ask him what time it is, will start to tell you how to make a watch; A person who takes his time taking your time; One who need not repeat himself because he gets it trite the first time; A person who is too generous with his time; A person who talks when you wish him to listen; A man who tries to live within your means; 2.

One who exchanges hot air for cold cash; 3. A person who always wants to be left a loan. Beet soup with high blood pressure. The man who is early when you are late, and late when you are early; 2.

The guy who watches the clock during the coffee break; 4. A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

Boss Of The Family: Whoever can spend fifty dollars without thinking it necessary to say anything about it.

The car your foreman drives. The art of insulting flowers in Greek and Latin. The principle by which British roads are signposted. Tendency to make mistakes.

In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship. A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public. A noise with dirt on it; 2. Bed for a male child; 2. His crib - not hers.

The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone Layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Company in Gulf of Mexico that turns your barbecue into a tarbecue. Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom. A person who starts out telling white lies and soon grows colour blind; 2.

A person who opens his mouth and puts his foot in it. The patter of tiny feats. The apparatus with which we think we think; 2.

That bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office.

A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; 2. A burst of useful information. What a man looks for in a wife, after not using any in selecting one; 2.

A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-destruction and four parts clarified Satan.

Dose, a head-full all the time. The drink of heroes - only a hero will venture to drink it. A multidimensional object with dimensions ranging from zero to nine.

A bust stop; 2. The original anti-gravity device; 4. A child who displays his pest manners. Rises without ever sleeping; 2.

Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

A close chemical relative of Silly Putty. What winners of a race lose. The quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service; 2.

Concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. Words that cover more ground than they occupy.

Using money as a blindfold. A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold; 2. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A wolf who paid too much for his whistle; 2. A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

A card game in which a good deal depends on a good deal; 2. A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking; 3.

A person who is undesirable if he has a one-trick mind. A trial where the jury gets together and forms a lynching party. A solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.

A perfectly reasonable explanation such as one offered by a person with a gurgling cough which has nothing to do with the fact that they smoke 50 cigarettes a day.

Germans pretending to be French. The most magnificent collection of stolen antiquities in the world. An all girl musical group.

The ability to smile when you suddenly discover that your roommate and your girlfriend are both missing from the dance floor; 2.

High-mindedness which has been flattened by experience; 3. The result of flattening high-mindedness out. Seeing how far you can toss a woman.

A handbill with kid gloves. What my broker has made me. Fear of the Broncos winning the Super Bowl again. Home is where the tart is.

Your brother, the crook. The price of lumber before inflation. The going rate for the tooth fairy. A mathematical confirmation of our suspicions; 3.

A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward; 4. An attempt to live below your yearnings; 5.

An orderly system of living beyond your means; 6. Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went; 7.

For instance, professional USA sports betting is illegal, yet playing slot machines or a card game like blackjack is not.

Another popular game in the USA that is regulated completely differently is Bingo because it is skill based and has been grandfathered in before anti-gaming laws were put in place.

These Bingo sites frequently have casino-like games and scratch cards as well. There are big advantages to gambling online as opposed to playing live games at land-based casinos.

Craps, Blackjack, and Roulette can be played at a much faster pace online allowing for more bets in a shorter time.

That is an important concept to understand in order to win the most money. For instance, if you are hitting consistently on red, you could take advantage of your lucky streak with extra fast bets on even numbers and on red as well.

Then, just slow down your betting when your luck turns. For this reason and because they tend to have good odds, many die-hard table game players play online exclusively.

Seasoned players know that video poker has very good odds compared to other casino games, so playing several hands at once is preferable to playing just one hand.

The more hands played the more that can be won, and nothing compares to the rate one can play multiple hands of cards online. Some professional gamblers play multi-hand video poker as their sole source of income!

Games at these websites payback more per bet than offline games do. Slot players are always looking for the highest payback they can find.

When playing online, as much as double the amount of money is returned to the gambler compared to tight Vegas slots on the strip.

The fact that slot machines spin faster online offsets this gain slightly, but it also increase total playing time. Some people think brand new is always better.

While this is not always true, new is at least fresh and different. Gamblers that need a reliable and unbiased reference point before moving forward into unknown territory need not look further.

Knowing more about a new site before depositing money will help increase your fun factor and your bank account in the end. Some people over spend or over bet on new sites.

Offer only the best! So that is exactly what we do! After all, it has a crazy history in the USA that continues today. Relaxing on the couch with your phone or sitting at your desk on the computer is better for a lot of people who do not want to go out.

Clean, convenient, and safe from all mass shootings, USA online casino gambling is such a great alternative that one day it may exceed land-based gambling.

This is not a far fetched idea. It is already a 68 billion dollar industry. With so many people betting, and with Mobile Casino Party expert advice in mind, you are sure to find the right play to play.

A section of mobile phone only sites have now been added and are able to be accessed on a variety of smartphones and tablets including Android, iPad, Blackberry, and iPhones.

Realtime gaming is a good example. These guys make new games once a month, sometimes twice. Frankly the software is less than what most hardcore gamblers would expect.

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